Well, I'm on a bus to Philadelphia right now. Kinda figured that now is a good a time as ever to get on here and write about my day. It has been a hell of a ride; these first couple of days here. I have gone from vocalizing maybe once a week, and when I say vocalizing I mean actually practicing my craft, to every day for almost an hour to what seems like all day. It is amazing to see even the slightest change in my abilities and The quality of sound that is actually being produced. I have wanted, for sooooo long, to have something, a program, a person, a reason besides my own, to get my s**t together and actually do what I believe I was put on this planet to do.

After an amazing morning and an amazing clasTitheis afternoon with another one of my favorites, Brice Moussett, I was able to go to dinner where I finally vocalized what scares me the most in this world. The answer wouldn't suprise many of you as I'm sure you've said I before. I, Brandon William, deathly afraid of failing. Not at life because I know there are other options. I am deathly afraid of failing at tue thing I love the most. Singing and dancing. I am afraid of using my talent to it's fullest at the feeling orthought of failing and not making it as far as I wish to go. Ask any true friend or family member of mine and they will tell you about the passion and love that I have for this art. Everyone says that you have to give and give until there is nothing left to get what you want. My problem is that I know howuch I need to give and how much talent and love I possess to give to this art, I just do not ever want to get to the point where I can't or it won't support me. So I play safe. I do less. I stick to where I am most comfortable. The places where I am applauded and cherished for what I already have worked so hard for. But where has that gotten me? I have the respect of my friends, family and loved ones. This is important. But what about a full on career where I'm happy? What abou everything I've dreamed of pursuing? What about all those unanswered "What If's"? What happens to those when I've stayed in this comfort zone, wasted my talent and passion on the safe zone? I'm sure the answer is I'm still asking what if. I'm still just here and not living.

Amazing that in just a few days I've come to such a realization, but I feel like I've been pondering the thought for a while, wondering if I would ever come to my senses and actually live, eat and breathe this life instead of just floating through it. this is the personal fire I am lighting under my own ass. Now I'm looking for the gas, fireworks and C4 to getuself rocketing toward the goal that I want to reach.

Regardless if you hear from me or not on this blog again, know one thing. Realization of a fault is the first part of change. Coming to terms with it is next. I'm past all that. It is now or never and now passed by about a year ago. Let's get it in.

PS: I practiced for about 45 minutes after my hour long private lesson today.